Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
