Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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