No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize