You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
