Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
