Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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