The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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