what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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