plz talk dirty to me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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