i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Someone shattered a urinal.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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