you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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