Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
