his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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