That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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