it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize