Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is Oprah even human
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
