im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
