where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
