i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
