Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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