I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize