he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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