I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Someone shit on the floor
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
