I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Terrible idea I love it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
