then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
