I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
