I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
