He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize