I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
