do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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