Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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