Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
