I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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