Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
