Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
