i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize