Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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