Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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