you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
do herpes really smell.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
