And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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