We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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