also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
