So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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