Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
In America we eat man semen.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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