Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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