no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
