BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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