Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
