You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
