yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Buhtt sex?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
