the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
