I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
