I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
