i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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