I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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