Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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