I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
