everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
