Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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