Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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