You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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