saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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