We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
