How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
