I heard we made out
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
