Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
