He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
