I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
