I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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